Monthly Archives: February 2022

Maybe she left for a rifle

When the platinum didn’t reach a full momentum

Maybe the DJs had better guise than Sam

Whose hand reached in by another man

Falling down on all his grand plans

Well maybe she wasn’t suicidal but addicted

Maybe it was life worth giving

A final shot with a rifle and bowman

We’ll take the next train down to Hoboken

– missxzero

Edited for clarity: I think the first two lines are a compare/contrast in a sort of way – this poem seems to be about a fictional version of Billie Eilish and Tori Amos. She left to make her own Pele (someone changed the second verse and I don’t know what the original was), but because of my super-awesomeness, though I just now saw that it may be offensive and THE ORIGINAL WAS ABOUT BOYS FOR PELE GOING PLATINUM…maybe I’m blonde. It’s weird though because Tori had a rifle (???) on Pele, asyoucanseeIamverysouthern, anyway. She left for Choirgirl/Billie left for Pele – two different directions. I think the next three lines are about how you get remixed by the press – Tori was painted as a kook by this point, and people were talking about Billie’s body like they fucking own it or something. Men manipulate this image – in the 90s, most music journalists, I believe, were men. 

The suicidal/addicted line makes me think it’s about Emilie Autumn – under the fire, the red dye…has Billie done red hair yet? I don’t think she has. I don’t know, I’m just trying to explain what this means. With the other two, it could be about how losing a child changes you – “maybe she wasn’t suicidal” but “she was addicted” and in Spark, Tori talks about a cigarette addiction along with a miscarriage. “Maybe it was life worth giving – a final shot with a rifle and bowman, we’ll take the next train down to Hoboken.” The last line is a reference to Father Lucifer, which references a miscarriage she had in 1995. Fans on online forums/groups have said horrible things about Tori – from losing Tash, divorcing Mark, “Maybe she should miscarry again” – I think the “maybe it was life worth giving” line is a double-meaning line – the art they created was a life that was worth giving to the world, but it’s like…”a final shot with a rifle and bowman” is almost like saying “and with a drink of this poison, I shall live…” even though you die at the end of the story. This whole thing is SO sad. I’m shaking.

The last line I interpret to mean “Let’s take a trip and meet Tori’s Lucifer.” Billie Eilish uses the line “My Lucifer is lonely” in “all the good girls go to hell.”

As for Emilie Autumn, the line “maybe she wasn’t suicidal but addicted” escapes me but the next lines reminds me that it could be about her time she spent in a mental asylum – “maybe it was life worth giving” – she was forever changed after that.

“Under the fire, the red dye” is a reference to Tori Amos’ fire in her playing at the piano and of her red hair. It’s also a reference to Emilie Autumn, but I’m still a little bit…behind, as I don’t actually follow Emilie like I do Tori. I have to fix this because of what’s happening. I have to go through interviews and finish her book.